Power vs. Influence

Working for a leader, which do you prefer: a leader who exudes power in order to get you to do your job or a leader who influences you to see the value in yourself and your work? In my experience people want influence over power every time. In today’s fast paced businesses, however, many leaders fall victim to using power and end up creating separation within teams, eroding relationships and ultimately breaking down all forms of trust.  Influencing people as a leader holds so much value and ends up creating a positive workplace culture. 

As a Leader, if you come to the realization that you are hitting the Easy Button, aka, The Power Button not to worry you can make the change. Rather than pointing blame or looking to hold people accountable as a way of authority, try to be curious about what people offer, even when they make mistakes and people do make mistakes!  Also, look for the moments when you can give recognition when people/teams achieve or do something that warrants acknowledgement from you as the Leader. Promote transparency and be critical about ‘what’ went wrong and not ‘who’ did wrong. 

The more self aware you become of the Power Button and start paying attention to ways to encourage and influence, the better relationships you will form with these fine people who come in to do the work everyday.  Influence people to be the best version of themselves and you will be on your way to building great teams and becoming a great Leader who will be remembered in very positive way!

Energy and Relationships... do you know how you show up?

A new year with new opportunities lays ahead for all of us, if we can see the opportunities when they are presented to us. If you don’t notice the doors of opportunity as they open, maybe it’s time to be honest with yourself and really look hard at the energy you’re giving away, as well as the relationships you have with others.

Do you know how you are showing up day in and day out? This term “showing up” seems to be popular in the world of pod casts, social media and other avenues of information and for good reasons. Knowing how you show up (also known as self-awareness) plays a very important part in our work and personal lives in a sense of cultivating how you feel about yourself, how you feel about others and your ability to build relationships.

Self-awareness can be described as “the ability to recognize and understand one’s own emotions”. When we can recognize and lean into our thoughts and emotions we stand a greater chance of forming better relationships, not only with other people but with ourselves. When we get in tune with our self- awareness this will allow us to become more curious and less judgemental of others mainly because we can see our own blind spots and learn how to adjust for a better overall experience.

Energy, is defined as “the strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity”. How does this apply to you as well as others? Think about relationship energy - the energy that is created and worked on when forming relationships with other people. Every time we interact with others, we give off a form of energy and this leaves a certain type of impression. That energy can appear in many different forms. Some of these would include, positive or negative, passionate or disinterested, warm or cold, vibrant or dull, passive or assertive, a good experience or possibly a bad experience. If you were to reflect on the energy you give out during interactions, do you know what impression you leave with the other person? Could you be oblivious to this and possibly perceived as a bit of an emotional roller coaster by those around you.

Being more observant of your own emotions and interactions with people will help you to strengthen your ability to form deep and meaningful relationships. Have patience and take the time to expand your own perspective on ‘Energy and Relationships” and watch the doors of opportunity open for you and those around you.

Accountability

In my past workplace accountability always seemed to be this elusive ‘thing’. Today I find many of the  clients I partner with also find ‘it’ a struggle. When speaking about accountability with many different levels of leadership, from the shop floor to the highest level, I seem to get a mixed bag of nuts on how leaders view accountability and how they think they can grow it in their teams. The one thing that is common, no matter where I go, is that all leaders want a culture of accountability within their workplace, they just wrestle with how to make this happen.

I personally screwed this up years ago, when I let my leadership rank and ego be large and in charge.  I tried using a way of authority and discipline to create this thing called accountability and it obviously did not work.  Since then, I have spent countless hours researching and understanding how organizations and teams can create a positive culture that thrives on accountability. I believe there are some simple things that we miss.

The first place to look if you are the leader of a team is in the mirror!  As a leader if you find yourself blaming others for not being accountable and focusing on “who” rather than “what” went wrong then you will struggle! For accountability to grow it must start with you and no one else.  This means leading by example. Now this is an easy catch phrase to toss around, and it may sound good, but upon reflection, are you truly leading by example in all areas of your leadership?

The next thing to consider, is that people want purposeful work and growth within any organization.  If we stifle creativity, and give people the same daily routines, over time they will lose any sort of motivation and the spirit of accountability will grow oh so dim.  Under your care as a leader, it is your responsibility to foster and encourage people’s thoughts and ideas and to look for ways to help foster advancement or growth within a position.

And lastly, people will start to care when they know that you care!  This means becoming a servant leader who lives in humility, always looking for ways to help your team. 

There is no sure-fire way to grow a culture of accountability, like anything good it takes time, patience and a lot of work but there is a huge pay off if you stick with it. 

Grace & Space

Grace can be defined as the simple elegance or refinement of movement, courteous goodwill, doing honour or credit to someone or something by one’s presence.

Space can be defined as the dimension of height, depth and width which within all things exist and move. A continuous area of expanse which is free, available or unoccupied.

To be graceful in one’s movement or in one’s words can be something we may not put much thought into. To be mindful of our space and others is also an area that we can take for granted especially during busy, hectic lifestyles. We have all been made aware of space or “social distancing over the past couple of years but I’m not referring to that type of space. What I want to share with you today is the space that you give yourself, not the space we put between each other.

Often our days can feel like being in a ‘blender” where we wake up and jump into action and before we know it the day is over and… repeat. Most of us start off the day while lying in bed, checking our phones answering messages, checking our social media likes or posts without taking the time to give ourselves the personal space we so badly need. The type of space that allows each of us to be okay with being by ourselves, collecting our thoughts, reflecting on the things we are grateful for and making the effort to have the best day we can possibly have. You won’t find that space on any social media feed!

When we make a choice to give ourselves the space needed to reflect and be better, we are intentionally doing service, not only to ourselves, but to all those people around us. When we slow down and put into perspective the importance of life, we will naturally be courteous and bring goodwill to others, as we are doing this with ourselves. To be graceful can be as simple as being aware of your movements. In other words, your own actions and words, are these serving you and others to be better everyday?

Time is the one thing we are all given equally in this world with the only difference being how we choose to spend it. What happens to time each day? It expires, for all of us. When we truly think about the importance of this it should help to inspire and motivate each of us to make the best use of the time we are given.

How graceful are you in being courteous and bringing goodwill to others? How are you filling up your space and are you truly making the best use of your time? If not, it might be time to make some changes before the expiry date sets in.

The Power of Your Own Words

As I write this article, I can’t help thinking that it’s so important for anyone reading this (or my other articles) to please always keep in mind that these are my feelings and experiences. The intent of my articles is to provide a different way of looking at things and hopefully help my readers in some way. They are never intended to push my opinions on others.

A couple of reasons I really love writing, one it helps me express myself from a perspective of being real and honest with my feelings and two, I truly hope it provides awareness to others. I’m always fascinated by the words people use and the effect they have on others around them. Some words that get used regularly can become common place, but they may have an impact on others for the better or for the worse. Hence the choice on the title for this article “The Power of Your Words”!

There’s one word I made a choice along time ago not to use. Once I stopped using it, I was amazed at how many people say this word. You’ve probably heard it said when someone makes a mistake - “That’s so retarded”, or “You retard”, but you may not have thought what that word means to others. To make some sense of this let me provide a bit of background. When my son Nathan was a baby, we noticed he wasn’t responding to sounds or stimulus the way most children did. In the early stages of Nathan being diagnosed one Doctor had asked ‘how do we know Nathan is not retarded?’ and that’s when it hit! We left that Doctor and found one with more compassion, understanding and a thorough diagnosis. Around 18 months of age he was diagnosed with Autism and a Global Developmental delay.

As I write this it’s even hard for me to use the word ‘retarded’, but this story wouldn’t make any sense if I didn’t. Now this isn’t to say that I have never used the word before this experience because I did, truly not understanding what impression or feeling I would be leaving on others around me. I wondered how many times in my life I have said this around others who may have family or friends with disabilities and how that made them feel? Generally, people won’t say anything or the ones who do are often fueled by emotion and we all know how those conversations can turn out.

When we think about the impact or impression we leave on friends, peers, co-workers and family the words we choose to use really say so much about us. Sometimes these words can come from a place of emotion and that may get the best of us at times, or a word like “retarded’ just plainly becomes a habit that gets used in regular conversation. We don’t even realize it. At times it might be fun to say certain words that make you laugh but they may be hurting others around you.

Habits good or bad get formed all the time and this is no different in the words we choose to use. Self-awareness is so important for recognizing the things that work well for each of us and the things that serve us no purpose; possibly hurting others and ultimately hurting our ability to build relationships. There are lots of other words I could mention that I believe have little or no place in a conversation but this word hits home with me. I hope this helps and makes you think about the power of your own words!